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  Wiggling a little, I felt the proof beneath me. “I can tell.”

  “I should be asking you how things went today, but I think all the blood that’s supposed to be running my brain is in my cock.” He shifted a little as if to make room in his pants.

  “Well, maybe I’ll tell you all about it later.” I undid his belt then went to work on the pants, pulling them down.

  All he did was nod slowly as he watched me at first. “Where have you been all my life?” He moaned out, reaching out to cup my breasts in both hands through my blouse.

  I smiled a little and lifted my shoulders into a brief shrug wiggling against his free erection to torment him. “I’m here now.” I leaned down and kissed his lips.

  “Feisty.” He growled into my mouth and reached out to unbutton my pants.

  “Not this time.” I grabbed his hands and shoved them away. He appeared surprised and disappointed that I was turning him down after I’d just stripped him of his work pants. Slowly, I slinked down his body, licking my lips.

  Realization dawned on his face and he grabbed a throw pillow, propping himself up with it for a better view. A groan escaped him before my mouth even made contact.

  Chapter 31

  Against my better judgment, I called my mom after Gavyn left later that evening for work. It was late, but I wanted them to call off the absurd trial and I wasn’t above begging at this point. I tried her cell phone first, but there was no answer so I called the house line.

  “Caine residence,” a familiar person spoke into the receiver. It was our long time employee, Erin. She was a scrawny, witchy looking woman with a voice to match.

  “Hi, it’s Farrah. Is Mom around?”

  “Oh, sure thing. I think she fell asleep in the library. One moment.”

  As I waited on hold, I put the phone on speaker and tapped it against my forehead. My mother had to listen to reason.

  “Farrah, thank goodness you’re alright.”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m not a child. Then again, no, I’m not alright. I can’t believe you’re letting father go through with this trial. I’ve taken care of myself fine.” I inhaled a deep breath through my nose and exhaled it slowly. My face burned as my anger grew more intense.

  “Trust us, it’s for the best. It’s not forever. My side of the family… we have a history of illness. Your father is making sure you get any help you need before something bad happens.”

  “Illness? What are you talking about? I’m not sick.” I looked down at the phone as if she could see my confused and annoyed expression.

  “Mental illness. Brody told us what you did to the walls of your apartment and about the self-mutilation.”

  I rolled my eyes. “The walls were painted because that’s what I enjoy doing. And my tattoos are so I can express myself. What kind of mental illness are you talking about?”

  “Your father may seem like he’s unfair or cruel, but he’s been through hell and back with me. He loves you and so do I. I wasn’t supposed to tell you all this because he’s worried you might run again.”

  “I’m not running anywhere. I’m fighting tooth and nail until the end.”

  “I wish I could say something to ease the paranoia making you think we’re out to get you, but I understand these feelings you’re having all too well.” Her voice held no anger, only sympathy.

  “I’ll see you soon… probably for the last time.” I ended the call and buried my face in my hands. I spent the night crying, but swore that it would be the last time I shed tears over my parents.

  Chapter 32

  The rest of the week flew by in a whirl. Each day, whether while snuggling on the sofa watching movies or making love in the mornings, I was reassured that marrying Gavyn was the right thing to do. Friday arrived quickly and we walked hand in hand up to his parents’ house to attend our pre-wedding party.

  “I’m so nervous,” I said.

  Gavyn squeezed my hand. “Nothing bad is going to happen.”

  I smiled weakly and nodded. We were greeted at the front door by his mother and her open arms. As she hugged me, I looked into the house and saw people everywhere. They were only tipsy strangers, but in my eyes they were all potential murderers or victims.

  “Bloody hell,” Gavyn said beside me underneath his breath. “This is a few people?”

  Julie shrugged and ushered us inside. “We have a lot of friends.” She turned toward the crowd and picked up a fork near the hors d’oeuvres. The clinking of the metal against her glass caused the chatter to stop and people to turn in our direction.

  I lifted my hand in greeting awkwardly.

  “Most of you know my son. I certainly show enough pictures of him and my grandbaby. This stunning beauty is Farrah, his bride-to-be,” Julie continued.

  Gavyn smiled at me apologetically when the round of applause started. He waited for the clapping to stop before speaking. “My mother throws quite a party. Thank you for coming out to support us.”

  “Alright, back to drinking and eating. Where is your father?” She asked.

  “Probably hiding.” Gavyn slid his arm around my waist and led me over to the display of food. He poured me a glass of ginger ale from the two liter on the counter. Then he picked up a plate and began loading it up with meats, cheeses, and fruits before offering it to me.

  “I’m not sure I can eat. I might vomit.” I placed my hand over my belly. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Julie looking at me. “Really… it’s just my nerves.” I laughed and my tension eased a little.

  “There she is!” A large booming voice called out and a man to match it in size walked toward me. I placed my plate on the counter just as he pulled me into a bear hug. “She’s lovely, son.”

  “That’s what I keep telling her,” Gavyn said as he tugged an olive off a toothpick with his teeth and chewed it with a slight grin.

  “Thank you.” I blushed profusely, picking up my plate once more when Gavyn’s father released me and I could breathe once again.

  Julie chimed in. “Where were you?”

  “Hiding in the loo. Ben, the arse in the corner, keeps rambling on about his wife’s new tits.” Warren cleared his throat. “Breasts, pardon my abrasive language.”

  “They are quite impressive, dear.” Julie glanced over her shoulder toward the couple.

  “That’s the issue,” Warren smirked. “I can’t stop looking at them.”

  Julie smacked him on the shoulder. “You are lucky you’re so handsome or I’d walk right out this door.”

  Warren wrapped his arms around his wife, leaning back to lift her up off the floor. “Yours are much better anyway.” He kissed Julie’s nose after the playful banter.

  They left us alone a few minutes later. I smiled at Gavyn who was shaking his head.

  “What?” I asked.

  “They’ve always been disgusting like that.” He ate another olive and made a face I’d seen his son make several times when he didn’t get his way.

  “I think they are cute and it’s obvious they are very much in love even after all these years. My parents aren’t like that. They’re serious all the time.”

  Gavyn brushed a strand of hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. “There’s still time to invite them. It might help the relationship.”

  “It won’t. Let’s focus on us and not have anything to do with them until next week.”

  He nodded. “Okay, baby. I’m going to check on Malcolm and ask him if he’ll do something for me during the wedding. Will you be alright to mingle a little?”

  “Sure.” I popped a square of cheddar into my mouth. “Give him my love.”

  Gavyn kissed my cheek and then casually pinched my butt on his way by me.

  I did as he asked, speaking with people that his parents introduced me to. When they left me alone to entertain myself again, I returned to the kitchen and headed for the sliding door. No one was outside now and a minute alone was much needed. I quietly slid the door open, stepped outside, and the
n closed it behind me.

  Light reflected off the clear blue water of the pool and I stepped toward it. A fear had overtaken me since the accident. Even though I hadn’t been there, I could see the car crashing into the lake in my mind and in my dreams as if I’d been standing on the docks.

  Run away.

  The words had me spinning around to see who had said them, but I was alone. It caused me to furrow my brow, reminded of the day I’d fled my parents’ home… the day all my dreams had come undone.

  I shivered and rubbed my arms despite the warm air as I stared down into the clear water. The memories were pushed away. I had new dreams now.

  The door I’d exited leading into the backyard opened and then closed. I didn’t turn around, unable to take my eyes off the water. A set of familiar hands touched my shoulders and took over rubbing my arms.

  “Sorry for taking so long. Malcolm had a lot of questions about the wedding.” Gavyn rested his chin on my shoulder and leaned his head against mine.

  “Is he okay with everything? I know we’ve all talked about it, but I’m sure the changes worry him.”

  “He’s excited. So am I.”

  I smiled faintly. “How do you know I’m the one?”

  “When you see a woman drooling after her tooth is pulled on the first day you spend with her and you can’t wait to see her afterward, you know she’s something special.” He snickered.

  “Funny, but probably true.” I laughed, turning around to face him. His arms lowered around my waist and he held me close.

  “Honestly, I wouldn’t have proposed how I did if not for your troubles. I’d have taken you to the most expensive restaurant in town and had the waiter hide your ring in sparkling cider since you don’t drink champagne.” He reached for one of my hands and lifted it to his lips while his other went into his pocket.

  “I don’t need that. Just you.”

  Gavyn lowered himself to one knee and in his hand was an engagement ring. Until that moment my finger had been bare. “This ring… it isn’t nearly as big as the one you had before. I picked it out earlier this week. If you don’t like it….”

  “I love it,” I said immediately, falling to my knees as well.

  “You’re not supposed to propose to me, too.” He scolded me with a smirk on his handsome face.

  Ignoring his joke, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go.

  “Hey, now.” He rubbed my back. “Try it on.”

  Fighting back tears, I let him slip the ring onto my finger. The simple band was lined with tiny diamonds that refracted the light no matter how I turned my hand.

  “Tomorrow will be the best day of my life,” I said.

  “I can’t promise you much, but I promise you my love forever.” He kissed me once, briefly, before returning his mouth to mine again as if a taste wasn’t enough. We sat by the pool for a long time, lips only separating to draw in an occasional breath.

  Chapter 33

  The next morning, I awoke disoriented. We’d slept in the guest room of his parents’ home instead of returning to our apartment after the party. Sitting up, I saw that Gavyn was gone. The thought entered my mind that he’d been ripped from my life. Frantic, I jumped out of bed and ran down the hallway in a pair of pajamas his mother had let me borrow for the night.

  In the kitchen, I was greeted by the entire family sitting around the breakfast table. Warren, Julie, Malcolm, and Gavyn eyed me with shocked expressions. When my heart slowed from racing, I smoothed my hair a little and slid into a chair.

  “Sorry. I… smelled waffles.” I winced at the stupid excuse for acting crazy.

  Gavyn smiled sympathetically. He understood why I was upset since everything had fallen apart the last time I was supposed to wed. “I shouldn’t have left the room. I swear I was about to wake you.”

  “Her cooking isn’t good enough to cause me to jump out of bed and charge into the kitchen.” Warren smiled warmly at his wife over a coffee cup.

  “You missed your calling as a comedian,” Julie said to her husband before patting my hand. “No worries, dear. We all get wedding jitters.”

  “I am kind of nervous.”

  Julie filled my cup with coffee. “After breakfast, you won’t be seeing Gavyn until the wedding. We’re going to get you ready for your big day.”

  I added some sugar and milk to the black coffee before taking a cautious sip. “Thank you again for everything.”

  Chapter 34

  Breakfast was over far too fast for my liking and I was whisked away to prepare for the walk down the aisle. After hair, make-up, and a few last minute dress adjustments, I was as ready as I’d ever be. Julie had left me alone in the guest room to make sure everything was ready outside.

  Alone, I sat on the edge of the bed reflecting on my past and my possible future. I thought of my parents. Angry as I was, I regretted the rift between us. They should have been at my wedding. I felt guilty for it. I also thought of my ex, Brody. Life with him would have been good, but it wasn’t meant to be. I’d already come to terms with it, but the little ache in my chest didn’t seem to care.

  I tried not to think of my brother. It happened anyway. I could hear the words he spoke to me before the bachelor party as clear as the day he’d said them.

  “Big brother will always watch over you.” He laughed. “Not in a weird Orwellian way.”

  I had grinned and hugged him as he referenced the book 1984. One thing we’d always had in common was our love of reading. “I know. Don’t take my fiancé to a strip club, okay?”

  “Deal.” He headed for the door. It was the last time I’d ever see him. “I’m proud of you, sis.”

  Malcolm’s small voice brought me back to the present and away from where my mind had drifted. “Who are you talking to, Farrah?”

  I shook away the memory. “I must have been thinking out loud. What did I say?”

  “I dunno. I couldn’t hear until I opened the door. Sounded like you were talking to someone, though.” He looked around the room and checked underneath the bed. “No monsters.”

  “Sorry about that.” I stood up. “Are they ready?”

  “Yep. They sent me to lead you out. Pretty big job. I didn’t run in the house either. They told me not to, but I knew already.”

  “Thanks, Mac.” I took his hand when he offered it.

  “Don’t be nervous. You look pretty.” He hesitated and lowered his voice to a whisper. “And it’s okay to have imaginary friends. I do. But it’s only okay if you know they’re not real.”

  “Right.” I nodded, taken aback by what he’d said. Had I really been talking aloud that much? I had little time to think about it as I was led to the backyard where my fiancé, his family, and a lawn full of guests waited.

  Concentrating on putting one high heeled foot in front of the other, I stepped out into the afternoon sun. The beauty of the day caught me off guard. Surely I’d seen the sky as a blue canvas splashed with white clouds and the shining sun before. But never had I beheld such a magnificent day. Grinning, I imagined painting a smiley face on the sun. That was how good I felt in that moment.

  A little girl ran out in front of us, a white basket perfectly fit for Easter on her arm. She tossed pink petals along the white path flanked on each side by folding chairs and people I did not know. Waiting at the end of the carpet was Gavyn. His wild hair had mostly been tamed by an ample dose of mousse or gel. God, he was good looking and now I’d be seeing him every day for the rest of my life. Music played, but I barely heard it as I stood staring at him. He seemed just as struck by my appearance.

  “Come on,” Mac whispered, giving me a little tug.

  I glanced down at the miniature Gavyn by my side and smiled. “Sorry.”

  There were approving whispers as I walked by the guests, but I never for a moment stopped looking at Gavyn as I made my way closer. On each step an eternity passed. I felt like I could have climbed Mt. Everest and made my descent back down by the time
I reached him.

  “Hi,” he mouthed.

  “Hey,” I let go of Mac’s hand and Gavyn took mine in his.

  A light haired man in an ill-fitting suit tugged at his jacket anxiously. “We are gathered here today to join together the lives of Gavyn Valmore and Farrah Caine in the presence of family and friends.”

  From the crowd, I heard a cry and glanced over to see Julie already an emotional wreck. Either she hadn’t drunk enough or she was already toasted. I almost laughed out loud.

  The officiator for the wedding, an obvious friend of the family and not a professional, continued with his words. My attention had returned to Gavyn and I was so lost in his brown eyes that I missed my cue. Malcolm tugged on my dress, holding up a wedding ring to me.

  “Thank you.” I bent down and kissed his cheek before taking the ring. Then, with a shaky hand I slipped the ring onto Gavyn’s hand. I wasn’t sure if I’d been told to repeat anything. All I ended up saying was a breathless, “I love you.” Anymore and either the tears would have come or I would have fainted.

  Gavyn delivered his words with more skill. I had never been able to paint with words the way I did with colors. He lifted the hand my ring was to go on to his lips and kissed the top of my finger gently before beginning.

  “Life is never quite what we expect. Everyone here can probably attest to that.” Several people in the crowd nodded. “I’ve been in dark places. Scared. Alone. From the first day I met you, Farrah, there’s been warmth inside me. A love keeps growing with every smile and every laugh that escapes your beautiful lips. Thank you. And though, I could never say it as lovely as you did… I love you.” He slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed my lips.

  The officiator stumbled over his words. Gavyn and I reluctantly parted. “You may now kiss the bride.” He grinned.

  Gavyn smirked, and without hesitation, went in for another one.